Funeral Etiquette

When someone you know passes away, your first instinct is to offer encouragement, help, and support to those affected — but you may not be sure what to say or do. It's okay to feel this way.

Does it matter what I wear? Can I bring the children? What should I say to the family of the deceased? When should I visit? Here’s some guidance on the proper etiquette of visitations and funerals, so you'll feel more comfortable and prepared for attending services.

When Should I Visit?

When someone passes, visiting the family at their home is a kind gesture. However, the funeral home is often the best place to visit, as it allows you to offer your condolences in a calm, supportive environment where the family can receive comfort and care.

For those wishing to provide additional support before the services, there are many ways you can

help the grieving family:


🍲 Bring meals or snacks to ease the burden of cooking.

🏠 Take care of household chores or errands that may be overwhelming at the moment.

👶 Assist with childcare to help with young children during this emotional time.

📜 Help with arrangements or any additional tasks that may arise.



These simple acts of kindness can offer great comfort during a difficult time, allowing the family to focus on what matters most.

What Should I Say?

One of the most common questions people have when paying their respects is, "What should I say?" While no words can fully express the depth of a loss, offering a few heartfelt words can let the grieving family know you care.


Here are some guidelines to help you offer comfort:


  • Acknowledge their loss: "I am so sorry for your loss," or "I’m thinking of you during this difficult time."
  • Share a memory: If you knew the deceased, mentioning a special memory can be comforting: "I’ll always remember the time when..."
  • Express your support: "I’m here for you if you need anything," or "You’re in my thoughts and prayers."


It’s best to avoid:

  • Airing grievances or complaining about unrelated matters.
  • Using cliches or platitudes like "He’s in a better place now."
  • Rushing to make the family feel better—allow them space to feel their emotions.



Your presence and sincere words of support will mean more than any perfect phrase.

Where Should I Sit?

It’s common for many to feel unsure about where to sit during a funeral or visitation service. Typically, the first rows of seating are reserved for the family members of the deceased.


If you’re not part of the immediate family, please choose a seat behind the reserved rows to ensure the family has the space they need during this time.



If you're ever uncertain, feel free to ask one of the staff for guidance. We’re here to help you feel comfortable and welcome.

What Should I Do?

Arriving on time is important to show respect for the deceased and their family. When entering the funeral home or another location, please do so as quietly as possible to maintain a solemn atmosphere.


  • Visitation Etiquette: If you are attending the visitation, approach the surviving family members to offer your condolences before taking a seat. A few kind words of support can be a comfort during this time.


  • Cellphone Use: During the service, cellphone use is inappropriate. If you must take a call or respond to a message, please excuse yourself and step into another room or outside.


Your thoughtful presence and attention to these small details help create a respectful environment for everyone.

What Should I Do About Children?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to whether children should attend a visitation or funeral service. It ultimately depends on the situation, the child’s age, their relationship to the deceased and family, and their ability to behave appropriately during the service.

If you decide to bring your child, it’s important to:


  • Prepare them: Explain what will happen during the service and the emotions they might witness.
  • Set expectations: Discuss how they should behave and the importance of being respectful during the service.
  • Consider their comfort: Make sure they feel supported and understand it’s okay to feel sad, confused, or even quiet.



If at any point the child feels overwhelmed, it’s okay to step out of the service for a break or to take a moment for reassurance.

What Should I Give?

Sending flowers to the funeral home or the family’s home is a traditional and thoughtful way to express your sympathy. However, if the family requests donations to a specific charity or foundation in lieu of flowers, it’s important to honor their wishes.


Another meaningful gesture is providing food for the grieving family, which can help ease their burden during this difficult time. If you're looking for a less expensive option, sending a heartfelt sympathy card is always appropriate and appreciated.


There’s no set time for when sympathy cards can be sent—feel free to send one whenever you feel it’s right, and know that your kind words will bring comfort at any time.